I haven’t read much by Dorothy Allison, but there’s one phrase that I’ll never forget, one that I often mentally hug her in gratitude for gifting the world. Two or Three Things I Know for Sure. I went back and read a bot of it just now and it brings back the gorgeous words; a profoundly memorable book, yet… I can’t recall anything about the plot, only that it was tragic. But that title alone did something for me. It resonated so strongly it obscured the beauty of the book for me. It calls to mind one of the central truths of life. You can get along through the hardest trials if only you can hold fast to two or three things you know for sure.
So here are some of my things.
In the Beauty Game, it’s not really the Beauty that matters so much as the Attractiveness. After all, the point of the beauty is about attracting plenty of the right people from which to select your friends and mates. I know that Attractiveness is more about confidence, charm, grooming, posture, personality, health, and vitality than inheriting genes for the figure, coloring or bone structure preferred by our culture. After years of self-consciousness and observation I can honestly say I know I’ve won the Beauty Game.
I know that all that really matters is happiness, yet we can’t expect to be happy all the time. The greatest satisfaction comes from meaningful work well done that makes a positive difference.I know that money only matters insofar that it provides freedom to pursue meaningful goals and security from the prevalent dangers and stresses of deprivation.
I know that the best things in life are not free; nor can they be purchased with money. They can only be cultivated slowly, with harmonious sustainable results accumulating slowly and consistently by the action of intentional habits of frequent well-balanced nurturing. Great gardens, well-adjusted offspring, and new paradigms are just a few examples.
For me, for today, that’s enough.