A little about me and my life as it is now: I have ADHD – not hyper, just the absent minded professor type. I manage myself in many ways (currently without meds, though I have had doctors try me on a few prescriptions) to stay productive. Fortunately I’m pretty smart so most of the time I do really well. But when my stress level is high I have a very hard time keeping on top of day to day communication. This doesn’t prevent me from being reliable for what truly motivates me like my kids and TH stuff, it just makes it really hard to apply myself in an organized way to necessary ‘duties’, if you get my meaning. While I still get a lot done, my ability to prioritize and sequence tasks in an effective way goes out the window. I get to the end of a busy day and find I did a lot of non-critical work without getting core goals finished.
I don’t want to overstate this and make myself sound like a total flake – I will absolutely move heaven and earth to meet my obligations. If I say I’ll be somewhere, I’ll be there for you no matter what. I spent 11 months working with Tumbleweed. During that time I rewrote and greatly expanded their entire workshop, wrote a book, and taught 18 workshops. I never missed a single beat despite a few insane events that could easily have stopped the show for a less committed person. I’ve never explained this to people I’ve never met before, it’s really scary!
In brief, the stress level in our lives right now is almost knock out level. We’re barely scraping by financially and the recent dissolution of a business ‘partnership’ with a third party has caused a lot of tension and anxiety. I’ve been terrified to really start blogging and promoting it because I’m afraid life will get in the way of writing regularly. I don’t want to take the chance of letting anyone down. In the face of all this, I’m determined to say fuck off to fear and just write and publish as much as possible on a more random basis. If people read and make use of my intermittent brainstorms, I’ll be honored. In the meantime at least I’ll have an outlet for my bubbling brain.
Sigh – confession complete.